To love perfectly

I haven’t updated this blog for a while. I guess I’ve felt like life has been rushing by at such a pace, any attempt to capture one facet of it would be a pointless in the face of such complexity.

As I prepare for impending fatherhood, write a thesis, throw my sweat, tears and laughter into this thing we call Church, and deal with an unexpected turn of events in my family life, I have begun to realise that the days of my childhood are well and truly over. The age of self-interested pursuit and experiential indulgence are done. And I am glad of it.

When I first found out I was going to be a father, part of me was terrified at the ‘freedoms’ I would lose. I had plans.. sort of. Dreams which required a certain independence and a lack of ‘strings’. I agonised over the possibility that these dreams would be lost, perhaps indefinitely.

However… the ‘older’ I get the more I realise what Jesus was talking about in Matthew 6:19 when He said –
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

The reality is that the dreams of my youth, no matter how noble they might have seemed at the time, most often revolved around one person… me. I’ve travelled to 16 different countries. I’ve seen wonderful places and I’ve shaken hands with some of the most powerful people in the world. In many ways I’ve lived the dreams of serveral young men my age.

Yet all of this is meaningless if it does not glorify God.

Solomon sums it up beautifully in Ecclesiastes 2:10-11 –
“I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my work,
and this was the reward for all my labor.

Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun.”

I am discovering that true freedom only comes with the death of self… and I am hungry for more. Don’t get me wrong.. I’m still a selfish cad, and God certainly has His work cut out for Him in sorting me out. But in the past few months I have begun to see my priorities change. I am excited about discovering what a life centered around God’s purposes – not my own – can bring. I am excited about the person who will arrive in 7 weeks and show me how truly satisfying it is to live for someone other than myself.

I am afraid. But it gets less and less every day… perfect love casts out all fear… and I am a perfectly loved person seeking to love, perfectly.

Advertisements

~ by humblemonkey on June 13, 2007.

3 Responses to “To love perfectly”

  1. Will,

    You have been quiet lately! Glad to see you’ve put fingers to keys again. I appreicate your article bro.

    The future awaits!

  2. What to say? You’ve certainly come along way these past few years – you’ve really blossomed into an amazing person. Have faith in yourself – you will be a great father and you will continue to grow into an even greater person.

    Seven weeks!? I so wish I could be there to meet the little guy (girl?) as well. Our family really is changing. But it’s not all bad.

    Miss you and love you lots,

    xoxo Jamie

  3. Bro, I’m so glad to hear those words bro. I pray to God that he will make you a great father to your son. I believe in you bro. It is an exciting stage of life you are stepping into my friend.

    God bless.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: