Old stuff, part 1

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I found an old notebook today full of poems, thoughts, and letters to God. Thought I might share them.

This is a letter I wrote to God after returning from my first mission trip overseas. It is a letter about revelation, uncertainty, hope, and trust. I hope it resonates with someone….

“To my King
My Brother
My Friend

How well you know my heart! I cannot second-guess you. Just when I think I have it all worked out, all in place, ordered, neat.. you surprise me again!

You know the desire of my heart.. to be everything you have dreamed me to be. To be a love offering. To finish the race, and in doing so, be complete in you.. in your purpose.

The more I learn, the less I seem to know. Will I ever be ready for anything? Do you even want me to be?

God, I think I am a goer, a mover, a shaker. Am I right? Is my life to be a never-ending rollercoaster ride, a potent cocktail of fear and excitement? Part of me hopes so. Part of me hopes not.

Will I ever stop being afraid, or does it give me that edge? This smacks of my theatre days, on stage, all adrenaline, and passion, and being fully in a moment.

If I go, will I ever stop moving? Who could go on such a journey with me? Where shall I go? I am filled with a Holy wanderlust… I have itchy sandals.

I love trying to figure you out, because I rarely can.. and when I do, it’s usually after the lesson is learned.

I long to increase the communication and understanding between all parts of the world church. We must lift as one! Give me more Lord, keep it coming.

I wish I needed less sleep. Can you do anything about that?

Lord, teach me how to say ‘no’ more often, and ‘yes’ when I should.

We need to get Bill Gates saved.. problem of missions funding = solved! But, that’s too easy. It needs to come from us.

I cannot comprehend the poignancy of even a single moment… that every event in my life has led me to this point.. to be who I am, where I am, right now. Like the flowing river, I’m never the same from second to second.
How beautiful.
How frightening.

I wonder what you have in store for me tomorrow? Please hold my hand as I find out.

Love,

‘That Boy’.”

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~ by humblemonkey on October 24, 2007.

2 Responses to “Old stuff, part 1”

  1. How beautiful to peek into your candor with God . . .

  2. I still have the diary I wrote this in, think =)

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